Reading guide
The teaching in one sentence
A person is known by which of four things they volunteer and which they minimize: others’ faults, others’ merits, their own faults, their own merits.
The grid
Four subjects and two behaviors each. The untrue person: speaks ill of others unasked, and in full detail when asked; will not speak well of others even when asked, and skimps when made to; will not speak ill of themselves even when asked, and skimps when made to; speaks well of themselves unasked, and in full detail when asked.
The true person reverses all four, exactly. Reluctant and incomplete about others’ faults; forthcoming and complete about others’ merits; forthcoming and complete about their own faults; reluctant and incomplete about their own merits.
The pattern is simple once mapped. Both people are consistent; they differ in which direction. One volunteers whatever lowers others and raises themselves; the other volunteers whatever lowers themselves and raises others.
The double criterion — whether it is volunteered, and whether it is complete — is what makes the test hard to game. A person can be scrupulous about not volunteering criticism and still deliver it in exhaustive detail the moment they are asked, and the discourse counts that.
What it does not require
It is worth being clear that the true person does speak ill of others when asked, and does speak well of themselves when asked. Neither is prohibited.
The discourse is not asking for silence about faults or for denial of one’s own merits. It is describing a consistent asymmetry in willingness, which is a much subtler and more testable thing than a rule about what may be said.
That is consistent with AN 4.3, which required examination before praise or criticism and explicitly said the astute person criticizes those deserving of it. Between the two discourses: criticize after looking, and be reluctant about it.
Where this can be applied
The grid works well on oneself and badly on others, for a reason the discourse does not state. Both behaviors are visible, but the four subjects are not equally available. One can see whether someone volunteers criticism of others. One cannot easily see whether they are withholding praise of themselves, because the withholding leaves no trace.
Used as self-examination the four questions are sharp: when I bring up someone else’s fault, was I asked? When I mention my own, do I give the whole of it? The third question — whether one is forthcoming about one’s own faults — is the one most people fail, and the discourse puts it third of four rather than making it the climax.
The bride
The simile arrives without transition and appears at first to be about something else entirely. A bride newly brought to her husband’s home sets up a keen sense of conscience and prudence toward her parents-in-law, her husband, and even the household workers. After a time, through familiarity, she will say to her mother-in-law or her husband: Go away! What would you know?
Then the application: a mendicant on the day of going forth has the same keen conscience toward monks, nuns, laymen, laywomen, and even the monastery workers and novices — and after a time will say the same thing to their own tutor or mentor.
The instruction that follows is the discourse’s conclusion: We will live with hearts like that of a newly wedded bride.
The connection to the first part is not stated but it is there. The four qualities of the untrue person are all forms of self-assertion at others’ expense, and the simile names the condition under which that develops: not malice, but familiarity. Nobody arrives at ‘what would you know?’ on their first day.
The simile’s discomfort
The image is drawn from a social arrangement in which a young woman entering a stranger’s household had almost no standing, and the ‘keen conscience and prudence’ she is praised for is at least partly fear. A modern reader is right to notice that.
What the discourse takes from it is narrower than the arrangement it draws on: the quality of attention a person has when they have just arrived somewhere and do not yet know how things work. That quality is real, it is genuinely useful, and it does reliably decay with familiarity.
Hiri and ottappa, conscience and prudence, are a standard pair in the canon and are elsewhere called the guardians of the world. The discourse’s claim is that they are strongest at the beginning and that maintaining them is a training, which is why the instruction is phrased as one.
Key terms
The text
The untrue person
§1“Mendicants, an untrue person can be known by four qualities. What four? To start with, an untrue person speaks ill of another even when not asked, let alone when asked. But when summoned for questioning they speak ill of another in full detail, not leaving anything out. That’s how to know that this is an untrue person.
§2Furthermore, an untrue person doesn’t speak well of another even when asked, let alone when not asked. But when summoned for questioning they speak well of another without giving the full details, leaving many things out. That’s how to know that this is an untrue person.
§3Furthermore, an untrue person doesn’t speak ill of themselves even when asked, let alone when not asked. But when summoned for questioning they speak ill of themselves without giving the full details, leaving many things out. That’s how to know that this is an untrue person.
§4Furthermore, an untrue person speaks well of themselves even when not asked, let alone when asked. But when summoned for questioning they speak well of themselves in full detail, not leaving anything out. That’s how to know that this is an untrue person. An untrue person can be known by these four qualities.
The true person
§5A true person can be known by four qualities. What four? To start with, a true person doesn’t speak ill of another even when asked, let alone when not asked. But when summoned for questioning they speak ill of another without giving the full details, leaving many things out. That’s how to know that this is a true person.
§6Furthermore, a true person speaks well of another even when not asked, let alone when asked. But when summoned for questioning they speak well of another in full detail, not leaving anything out. That’s how to know that this is a true person.
§7Furthermore, a true person speaks ill of themselves even when not asked, let alone when asked. But when led on by questions they speak ill of themselves in full detail, not leaving anything out. That’s how to know that this is a true person.
§8Furthermore, a true person doesn’t speak well of themselves even when asked, let alone when not asked. But when summoned for questioning they speak well of themselves without giving the full details, leaving many things out. That’s how to know that this is a true person. A true person can be known by these four qualities.
The newly wedded bride
§9It’s like a bride on the day or night she’s first brought to her husband’s home. Right away she sets up a keen sense of conscience and prudence for her mother and father in law, her husband, and even the bondservants, workers, and staff. But after some time, because of living together and familiarity, she’ll even say to her mother and father in law, or to her husband: ‘Go away! What would you know?’ In the same way, on the day or night a mendicant first goes forth from the lay life to homelessness, right away they set up a keen sense of conscience and prudence for the monks, nuns, laymen, and laywomen, and even the monastery workers and novices. But after some time, because of living together and familiarity, they’ll even say to their tutor or mentor: ‘Go away! What would you know?’ So you should train like this: ‘We will live with hearts like that of a newly wedded bride.’ That’s how you should train.”
Self-check quiz
Ten questions. Click an answer to see immediate feedback. No score is recorded — this is for your own checking.