Reading guide
The teaching in one sentence
Yoking between women and men begins inward, not outward: a woman who focuses on and takes pleasure in her own feminine qualities is thereby drawn to focus on and take pleasure in a man's masculine qualities, and desires to be yoked to him — and the same structure holds for a man focusing on his own masculinity.
Six qualities, named for each side of the mirror
The discourse names six specific qualities for each side: moves, appearance, ways, desires, voice, and adornment — feminine for a woman's own self-focus and for the man she is drawn to describe by contrast, masculine for a man's own self-focus and for the woman he is drawn to. The same six-item list runs through all four cases — a woman's yoking, a man's yoking, a woman's unyoking, a man's unyoking — with only the direction of attention and its presence or absence changing.
Yoking begins with the self, not the other
The order of the exposition is deliberate: a woman first focuses on her own femininity and is stimulated by it, and only then turns to focus on a man's masculinity. Attraction to another is presented as downstream of an already-established pleasure taken in one's own gendered qualities, not as an independent starting point.
Unyoking as the identical structure, simply undone
The discourse's second half does not describe a different mechanism for freedom from this yoke; it restates the same structure with each step negated — not focusing on one's own qualities, not being stimulated, not focusing on the other's qualities, not desiring to be yoked — making the path out of the yoke exactly as structured as the path into it.
Key terms
The text
The teaching announced
§1“Mendicants, I will teach you an exposition of the teaching on yoking and unyoking. Listen and apply your mind well, I will speak. … And what is the exposition of the teaching on yoking and unyoking?
Yoking: a woman focused on her own femininity, desiring a man
§2A woman focuses on her own femininity: her feminine moves, feminine appearance, feminine ways, feminine desires, feminine voice, and feminine adornment. She’s stimulated by this and takes pleasure in it. So she focuses on the masculinity of others: masculine moves, masculine appearance, masculine ways, masculine desires, masculine voice, and masculine adornment. She’s stimulated by this and takes pleasure in it. So she desires to yoke herself to another. And she desires the pleasure and happiness that comes from such yoking. Sentient beings who relish their femininity are yoked to men. This is how a woman does not transcend her femininity.
Yoking: a man focused on his own masculinity, desiring a woman
§3A man focuses on his own masculinity: his masculine moves, masculine appearance, masculine ways, masculine desires, masculine voice, and masculine adornment. He’s stimulated by this and takes pleasure in it. So he focuses on the femininity of others: feminine moves, feminine appearance, feminine ways, feminine desires, feminine voice, and feminine adornment. He’s stimulated by this and takes pleasure in it. So he desires to yoke himself to another. And he desires the pleasure and happiness that comes from such yoking. Sentient beings who relish their masculinity are yoked to women. This is how a man does not transcend his masculinity. This is how yoking comes about.
Unyoking: a woman not focused on her own femininity
§4And how does unyoking come about? A woman doesn’t focus on her own femininity: her feminine moves, feminine appearance, feminine ways, feminine desires, feminine voice, and feminine adornment. She isn’t stimulated by this and takes no pleasure in it. So she doesn’t focus on the masculinity of others: masculine moves, masculine appearance, masculine ways, masculine desires, masculine voice, and masculine adornment. She isn’t stimulated by this and takes no pleasure in it. So she doesn’t desire to yoke herself to another. Nor does she desire the pleasure and happiness that comes from such yoking. Sentient beings who do not relish their femininity are not yoked to men. This is how a woman transcends her femininity.
Unyoking: a man not focused on his own masculinity
§5A man doesn’t focus on his own masculinity: masculine moves, masculine appearance, masculine ways, masculine desires, masculine voice, and masculine adornment. He isn’t stimulated by this and takes no pleasure in it. So he doesn’t focus on the femininity of others: feminine moves, feminine appearance, feminine ways, feminine desires, feminine voice, and feminine adornment. He isn’t stimulated by this and takes no pleasure in it. So he doesn’t desire to yoke himself to another. Nor does he desire the pleasure and happiness that comes from such yoking. Sentient beings who do not relish their masculinity are not yoked to women. This is how a man transcends his masculinity. This is how unyoking comes about. This is the exposition of the teaching on yoking and unyoking.”
Self-check quiz
6 questions. Click an answer to see immediate feedback. No score is recorded — this is for your own checking.