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Saṃyutta Nikāya · Discourse 16.4

Visiting Families

Kulūpakasutta

Setting
Sāvatthī
Speakers
The Buddha, with the mendicants deferring the question back to him
Form
A contrast between two mendicants, each tested against five identical conditions of giving
Length
~3 minutes to read
Northern parallel
A rough counterpart may exist in the Chinese Saṃyukta-āgama (T99), though this reading guide does not assert a specific matching sutra number
Difficulty
★★☆☆☆ — a detailed elaboration of SN 16.3's equanimity theme

Why this discourse

This discourse takes SN 16.3's equanimity theme and breaks it into five concrete, testable conditions: whether a family gives at all, gives generously or meagerly, gives fine things or coarse, gives quickly or slowly, and gives carefully or carelessly. One kind of mendicant privately insists on the better outcome in every case — receiving, generous, fine, quick, careful giving — and feels slighted, experiencing real pain and sadness, whenever any single condition falls short. The other kind asks how they could possibly hold such expectations of other people's families in the first place, and so remains entirely unaffected whichever way the giving actually goes. Kassapa, once again, is the second kind.

Reading guide

Five conditions, tested identically for each mendicant

Whether something is given at all, how much, how fine, how quickly, and how carefully — the same five tests are run against both the entitled mendicant and the released one, making the contrast precise rather than a vague generalization.

Suffering traced to a private expectation, not to the giving itself

The discourse doesn't blame families for giving little or slowly; it locates the pain entirely in the mendicant's own prior thought, “may they give to me, and give well” — the expectation itself is what creates the vulnerability to disappointment.

A logically framed release, not merely an attitude adjustment

The unaffected mendicant's stance isn't simply cheerfulness; it's phrased as a genuine question — “how could I possibly expect this from other people's families?” — treating the original entitlement as a kind of category error about what one could reasonably ask of others.

The identical structure repeated for Kassapa specifically

After establishing the general contrast between worthy and unworthy visitors, the discourse restates the entire five-condition test a third time, this time naming Kassapa by name as the one who meets it without exception.

A companion piece to SN 16.3's family-visiting teaching

Where SN 16.3 illustrated non-attachment through image and gesture, this discourse works out the same underlying point mechanically, condition by condition — the two discourses complement rather than repeat each other.

Key terms

kulūpako — “one who visits families” — this discourse's title concept, tested here against worthiness and unworthiness.
dentuyeva me, mā nādaṁsu — “may they give to me, may they not fail to give” — the first of five private expectations the entitled mendicant holds.
sandīyati — “feels slighted” — the emotional response this discourse identifies whenever any of the five expectations goes unmet.
taṁ kutettha labbhā parakulesu — “how could I possibly expect this among other families” — the released mendicant's framing, treating the original entitlement as unreasonable from the start.
dukkhaṁ domanassaṁ paṭisaṁvedayati — “experiences pain and sadness” — the explicit consequence named for the entitled mendicant, and explicitly absent for the released one.

The text

The discourse in full, including the source's own elision of the repeated five-condition test's middle clauses. Translation: Bhikkhu Sujato (CC0, SuttaCentral).

§1At Sāvatthī. “What do you think, mendicants? What kind of mendicant is worthy of visiting families? And what kind of mendicant is not worthy of visiting families?” “Our teachings are rooted in the Buddha. …” The Buddha said this:

§2“Whoever visits families with the thought: ‘May they give to me, may they not fail to give. May they give a lot, not a little. May they give me fine things, not coarse. May they give quickly, not slowly. May they give carefully, not carelessly.’ If a mendicant with such a thought approaches a family and they don’t give, the mendicant feels slighted. And they experience pain and sadness because of that. If they give only a little … if they give coarse things … if they give slowly … if they give carelessly, the mendicant feels slighted. And they experience pain and sadness because of that. That kind of mendicant is not worthy of visiting families.

§3Whoever visits families with the thought: ‘When among other families, how could I possibly think: “May they give to me, may they not fail to give. May they give a lot, not a little. May they give me fine things, not coarse. May they give quickly, not slowly. May they give carefully, not carelessly.”’ If a mendicant with such a thought approaches a family and they don’t give, the mendicant doesn’t feel slighted. And they don’t experience pain and sadness because of that. If they give only a little … if they give coarse things … if they give slowly … if they give carelessly, the mendicant doesn’t feel slighted. And they don’t experience pain and sadness because of that. That kind of mendicant is worthy of visiting families.

§4Kassapa visits families with the thought: ‘When among other families, how could I possibly think: “May they give to me, may they not fail to give. May they give a lot, not a little. May they give me fine things, not coarse. May they give quickly, not slowly. May they give carefully, not carelessly.”’ With such a thought, if he approaches a family and they don’t give, he doesn’t feel slighted. And he doesn’t experience pain and sadness because of that. If they give only a little … if they give coarse things … if they give slowly … if they give carelessly, he doesn’t feel slighted. And he doesn’t experience pain and sadness because of that. I will exhort you with the example of Kassapa or someone like him. You should practice accordingly.”

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Self-check quiz

Ten questions. Click an answer to see immediate feedback. No score is recorded — this is for your own checking.

Question 1 of 10
What five conditions does this discourse test both kinds of mendicant against?
Correct: A. Five precise, testable conditions applied identically to both mendicant types.
Question 2 of 10
Where does this discourse locate the source of a mendicant's suffering?
Correct: A. The expectation itself creates the vulnerability to disappointment.
Question 3 of 10
How does the released mendicant frame their own lack of expectation?
Correct: A. Treating the original entitlement as a kind of category error, not just an attitude to drop.
Question 4 of 10
How many times is the five-condition test applied across this discourse?
Correct: A. General contrast, then a specific restatement naming Kassapa.
Question 5 of 10
How does this discourse relate to SN 16.3?
Correct: A. Image and gesture in SN 16.3, mechanical precision here.
Question 6 of 10
What happens to the released mendicant when a family gives only a little, or slowly, or carelessly?
Correct: A. Complete equanimity across all five conditions, unlike the entitled mendicant.
Question 7 of 10
What term names the emotional response the entitled mendicant experiences?
Correct: A. The precise term this discourse repeats after each unmet condition.
Question 8 of 10
Who is named as the mendicant who meets all five conditions without exception?
Correct: A. The discourse's third and final application of the five-condition test.
Question 9 of 10
Where does the Buddha deliver this teaching?
Correct: A. The setting shared with most discourses in this collection.
Question 10 of 10
What numbering tag closes this discourse?
Correct: A. The fourth discourse of this saṃyutta.
Answered 0 of 10 · Correct 0

Further reading

← PreviousSN 16.3 · Like the Moon