Reading guide
Seven years, told in the body's own terms
‘Thin, pale, and wan’ describes seven years of wandering under ‘irrational application of mind’ and desire's grip — the toll measured physically, not only as an inner report of unhappiness.
A resolve reached only after prolonged failure
Sīhā's decision to end her life in the forest is not impulsive within the poem's own account: it follows seven full years of ‘finding no happiness by day or night’, presented as the exhausted end of sustained, failed effort rather than a sudden reaction.
A noose, echoing the poem just before it
‘Pāsa’, the noose Sīhā ties, is the same word Vimalā used one poem earlier as a metaphor for her former predatory conduct — here made literal, a striking echo across two consecutive poems in this book.
The turn, at the exact moment of extremity
‘Casting it round my neck, my mind was freed’ places the poem's entire resolution at the single instant of complete confrontation with death — the verses offer no account of what shifted, only that it did, exactly there.
Key terms
The text
§1Due to irrational application of mind, I was racked by desire for pleasures of the senses. I was restless in the past, lacking control over my mind.
§2Overcome by corruptions, pursuing perceptions of the beautiful, I gained no peace of mind. Under the sway of lustful thoughts,
§3thin, pale, and wan, for seven years I wandered, full of pain, finding no happiness by day or night.
§4Taking a rope I entered deep into the forest, thinking: “It’s better that I hang myself than I return to a lesser life.”
§5I made a strong noose and tied it to the branch of a tree. Casting it round my neck, my mind was freed.
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